10 Reasons a Crocheter should Masturbate

Yes, I masturbate! I fit it in somewhere between crocheting and sex with Mr. Smooth. I am a poster child for self pleasure! Masturbation is a perfectly safe and natural thing, so don't be shy. Go ahead, MASTURBATE, and I'm going to tell you why you should.

1. It feels Great!!

2. It teaches you about your body-what turns you on and what doesn't. Masturbation helps you to identify your basic sexual needs and how best to satisfy them. 

3. It releases tension, especially during "that time of the month." Having an orgasm releases endorphins which is a natural pain reliever, so if you are having cramps its good to masturbate. It will keep you from wanting to stab someone with a crochet hook or a pair of knitting needles!!

4.It gets your blood flowing which is great when you have spend hours working on a crochet project!!

5. If you are single, it stops you from climbing the walls or sleeping with the first/every guy you meet.

6. It's totally safe sex!

7. It's a great beauty treatment. Orgasm improves circulation, combats the effects of stress and makes your skin glow!

8. You can concentrate purely on your own pleasure without worrying about someone else.

9. The more you masturbate, the more capable orgasms you'll be capable of having both with and without your partner. Just like any activity that you are not good at you practice, right? Well, look at this as practice.

10. Being able to pleasure yourself with an orgasm is true sexual independence.

Crochet Your Own Thongs!!

Okay so after my thong history lesson I decided to crochet some thongs for myself and see how My Love likes them. I searched the internet and was surprised to see such a huge collection of different crochet thong patterns. I went ahead and decided to attempt to try making the basic shape without a pattern. It only took me about 30 minutes and this is what the finished product looked like.

I was pleased for the most part. Now I am ready to try one of those cute lacy crochet thong patterns. I found two different ones on Crochetology.net they have free instructions for a lacy tanga style thong and a sexy Brazilian style thong. These styles are for a more intermediate to advanced crocheter. If you are a beginner there are some thong patterns available for purchase. I found one on Craftsy.com by Popelka from Czech Republic (people crochet thongs all over the world!!) . There is also a huge variety on Etsy,  but this one I found looks very easy (sexy crochet thong epattern) . For $5 why not give it a try, right??

So, I decided to give the one on Crochetology.net a whirl. It starts with an octagon motif pattern. Since I was using a larger hook than it calls for (I used a 2.75mm hook) and size 3 crochet thread, I made a hexagon motif. It looked like this when I finished.

I made four hexagons; three for the front and one for the back. I then connected the three front hexagons using single crochet stitch. Then to make the main body of the front and crotch section I attached yarn to bottom edge of first hexagon close to the center of the motif and single crocheted 34 sts. I then turned my work ch2 and double crocheted across, decreasing one sts at each end for 14 rows. I worked the remaining sts for 10 rows and connected my 4th hexagon motif to the end. I added 4 side ties and taaaahh dahhh!! I had a finished thong!!
 I am sorry I am no expert at pattern writing but my hopes are to help inspire you and to improve on my pattern writing skills in the process. Thanks for reading!!

Let me see that THONG! History of the thong

I bet you didn't know that the loincloth, worn thousands of years ago is likely to be the first undergarment worn by humans and it evolved into the thong over the years. Ironically, it was first worn by men in ancient times before it evolved into part of women's lingerie in modern times. The Egyptians were one of the earliest people to wear this thong-like clothing. The earliest loincloths were made of leather and this was used until the introduction of fabric much later on....could you imagine always wearing a leather thong...ouch! The famous King Tutankhamun was found buried with more than a hundred loincloths in his tomb. In the middle ages, the loincloth was replaced by a large, loose outfit called braies. This was usually made from linen and is much bigger than the loincloth. The braies is made with a covering at the front that could be buttoned or tied closed.

In modern times, historians trace the thong's first public appearance to 1939 when New York Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia directed that the city’s nude exotic dancers to dress more appropriately. Fashion designer, Rudi Gernreich was credited with introducing the first modern thong back in 1974. The thong was worn for many years by exotic Brazilian dancers and was very widely worn during the festivals. These tight, tiny thongs grew in popularity during the 80s in South America and were used as swimwear at the beaches. Its popularity and influence spread to various parts of the world in the late 90s. In the US, the sexy thong only gained wide acceptance in the 90s when exotic lingerie came into the mainstream. Today, the thong is one of the best selling styles of undergarment in the world. The size of the lingerie industry is said to be over $2 billion a year. The thong became so popular that there were even songs written about it. The most famous one was of course "The Thong Song" by Sisqo. The Thong Song from Sisqo's debut album Unleash The Dragon was such a big hit that it reached number 3 on the US pop charts and sold over 4 million copies worldwide.

Besides the sexy thong, there are also many different types and variants of exotic lingerie available in the market today. Some of the different types of lingerie available include the chemise, camisole, boy shorts, bustiers, corsets, teddy and G-string. Many designers today have come up with very flamboyant and creative designs and the thongs today are very different from the designs of yesteryear's  It is extremely minimalist, erotic and chic. Many women prefer the thong to other types of lingerie because they can wear tight pants without showing the panty line. Besides being extremely sexy, the thong is also comfortable to wear, at least that's what I have heard...haha! Don't get me wrong I have my share of thongs but sometimes they creep and that can be an uncomfortable situation. My Love likes them on me though and I am very glad to oblige!! It  may be because they are easy to rip off, hmmmm.

Sexy Crocheter Here!!

So as you have probably guessed from the title of this blog; there are three thing I love SEX, CROCHETING and KNITTING...yes, in that order! HA! My thoughts of sex and how to get more sex influence my crocheting and knitting adventures. My man, we will call him My Love; has no problem with it at all, he encourages my creativity. He doesn't know it yet but I am hoping to act out my sex on top of yarn fantasy *wink*. I hope you enjoy my naughty crocheting and knitting adventures, along with advice, tips and free patterns (who doesn't love FREE patterns?)! Grab your hooks and sit a spell...